I LOVE LAPD!!!!!!!!

So yeah. I got invited to a Fondue Party last night in downtown Los Angeles. The party was actually located on the corner of Olympic and Olive street, not far from the staples center. business area. non-residential. It was about 10:30pm.

Realizing i didnt have a chance to pick up some beers before i left home to bring (i hate showing up to parties empty-handed) to the venue, i decided to pick some up when i got in the area. after about 45 minutes of driving up and down the maze that is DownTown LA, i gave up. It was deserted. After living here for 3 years and being a dyed in the wool New Yorker, i still couldn’t get over how everything shuts down after 8pm out there….some “city.” In anycase, i decided to just show up to the party empty-handed.

It was 11pm at this point. As i parked my car in the deserted parking lot across the street from the place, i still wasn’t sure if i’d found it. the area was dead, not a soul in site, not even driving and almost creepy at how quiet it was. the building the party took place in was an old bank that had been gutted out and been renovated into a buncha lofts.

Not realizing that at the time, i decided to cross the dark, derserted street to call good buddy and phenom talent Dave Johnson (Super Patriot, Ben 10 Art Director, 100 Bullets cover artist and Drink and Draw founder) who was already at the shing-dig, just to be sure this was the spot.

What happened after that goes down in the history books of funniest/bullshit moments in the life of LeSean Thomas. as my cell phone rang, and i got to the sidewalk, a LAPD cop car–from out of nowhere, not in the STREET I”M CROSSING–literally screaches up to the corner of the curb, damn-near hitting me, tri-colored lights blaring and high beams on me.

I froze.

Not because of the fact that A) as a black man, i’m genetically predisposed to fearing any police officer for no reason.

or B) the fact that i’ve been stopped twice by cops in NYC and GREENSBORO, North Carolina, because i “fit the description.”

But more because of the fact that they came out of fucking nowhere and scared the living shit outta me. So, this short, obviously napoleon-complexed mexican officer hops out the car with his hand on his firearm.

” Can i see your ID sir!”

I hesitated…

” Can i see your ID sir!”

I handed him my ID, realizing Dave Johnson was prolly still on the phone since it was ringing before the cops showed up. i cut the phone off.

Looking at me, then my ID, then at me again, the short cop then proceeds to ask me a question, but there was no noise coming from his mouth. i didnt think i heard him correctly….probably out of fear at first.

“what?” i asked , while keeping my eye on the other, taller white officer who hops out the drivers seat and walks over, his hand also on his firearm. The short guy asks again, this time really annoyed at me, one hand on my ID, the other hand still on his firearm:

“I said is there a reason why you were crossing the street on a RED LIGHT?”

Ah….NOW i heard him, realizing that the real reason i got stopped just sounded so absurd, the question didnt even register. its like i didnt hear the little dude right.

“oh, i didnt even know i crossed at a red, besides, there’s nobody out here so I-”

and before i could finish my sentence, the taller white cop yells

“-WELL we’re gonna give you something to SHARPEN YOUR MEMORY.”

shocked, i said “What?”

“We’re gonna give you something to SHARPEN that MEMORY OF YOURS.”

I couldnt fucking believe it. it’s 11pm at night. NO CARS, NO PEOPLE, NOONE IN SIGHT, and these fuckers stop me to give me a TICKET FOR JAYWALKING in the MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT. So as this little fucker starts to write my ticket, the taller cop just continues to stare me down with his hand at his firearm. What i wanted to ask was:

” Isn’t there a crack-cocaine deal happening at skid-row that you guys could be interviening right now instead of doing this?”

But i could just tell the tall white, angry cop was DYING for “NIGGA MOMENT” to happen, so i kept it neutral and stayed put. I fucking HATE police organizations. now, don’t get me wrong. i’m not gonna sit here and complain and say all cops fucking suck. I happen to have had some of the most interesting conversations with a few in my time and a few good amount of them are regular joes, trying to do their jobs. but lets just be fair and say a good 80% are fucking garbarge. and i understand that their lives are threatemed, they are on edge and there’s some really fucked up people out there, but thats just all the more reason for me to not comprehend the absurdity of the situation. and its not about the fucking ticket. i pay $60 parking tickets all the time. it’s the PRINCIPLE. I”m gonna contest this shit in court. i’m not paying for this bullshit!!LOL!!

I guess that’s what you get for being black and crossing the wrong street at the wrong time of the night in LA, lol.

Suffice it to say, the shit fucked up my night. i’m over it now. and think its funny, but man, sometimes i feel like FUCK THE POLICE!

LeS-

16 Comments on I LOVE LAPD!!!!!!!!

  1. Jeff Harris    

    Damn.

    This is a great, but flawed country we live in, and there’s always going to be ignorant people in positions of power always corrupting it to make people miserable. It makes me angry, but I refuse to let it consume me.

    After all, if I do have a “nigga moment,” then they have already won.

  2. Tangi    

    I remember walking home from work and a cop pulled up next to me. He asked to see my ID. I had to prove that actually lived in the area.
    This country has it’s set backs, but at least we have the power to change what’s wrong.

  3. UrbanBarbarian    

    Serves you right! JK – See you tomorrow!

  4. Chris Sims    

    I had a incident just last year. It was like 5:45pm. and I turned left on this road that wasn’t busy. All of a sudden a cop pulls up behind me. I pull to the curb and he get’s out and comes to the car. He ask for my ID and social security number. (I don’t even think they’re allowed to ask for you SSN.)

    I’m like whats the problem but he remains persistent. I give him my info and he goes to his vehicle and I swear I’m sitting there for like 35-40 mins.

    He comes back and tells me that I ignored a sign that stated “no left turns before 6pm” but he gives me a seatbelt ticket instead.

    Craziest thing ever! I thought dude was gonna try to take me away or something. Now I stay away from that area.

    The side of town I was on isn’t the greatest place so he should’ve been focusing on the crimes that were probably taking place at that moment. Some of these cops need to get a life. Seriously!

  5. Charlay    

    Word up these cops need a life, they need to stop trying to get those quotas from dumb things.
    About a year ago I was coming home from work, mind you I work as a security officer a state licensed one at that,in uniform, and as I pull up to the mail area in my complex the cop flashes me and ask if I live here, I said yes, he askes where, I told him where, he then asked what am I doing at the mail area…? Hello getting the mail. It was around 1145 pm ( I work the 2nd shift) any way he stopped me for my light that goes over the liscense plate. I didn’t get a ticket but the comment he said made me mad but I just wanted to get home. The comment after was “How long have you been out of jail” What? I never was in jail thats what I told him. (that is true.)I can’t get a state liscense if I was in prison. I left that alone I wanted to just go home.

  6. END    

    You did the right thing and played it cool…futchin close call tho…scary!

  7. Tony Fisher    

    …hypertension, high blood pressure, LAPD…something’s gonna get ya!

    Chris Rock once again prophesies the truth…

    If I was you, I’d make sure my life insurance was all paid up and I’d keep a video camera on me at all times!

  8. Lauren    

    That super sucks, but at least you got a damn funny story out of it.

  9. ZONE    

    You handled it well. If you do fight the ticket, let us know how it goes.

  10. libra bear    

    Wow. I feel fortunate not have experienced ignorance on that level. It always manages to miss me somehow.
    I commend you on the way you dealt with it. Police love “nigga moments” so it’s important not to give it to them.
    Wes.

  11. ken lashley    

    wow…we all have these moments . l forget about them from time to time but every so often l remember l’m not a black man but a second class person ….l got one for you, l was driving home my staff from a night out to celebrate my interview on a tv show that is a national broadcasted…l have a big SUV with TV screens , so those guys were watching Starwars when the police pulled up beside me….l pulled of slowly and they followed me for 10 blocks before pulling me over and charging me with …..’speeding”. l looked him dead in his eye’s and told him …’ l’m the wrong negro…..l will see you in court..” he looked shocked because we were taping the incident with the camcorder we had with us….when l went to fight the ticket…l got a notice telling me that the officer had misfiled the ticket and the matter was closed…..l filed a complaint anyways….that’s still pending.
    the non-white employee’s could not believe what just happened..the black guys just got mad.

    Canada….is not as far removed from this stuff as they would like to think.

  12. EPIK    

    As a Mexican who grew up in East L.A I’ve had my share of Police harassments so I understand where you’re coming from man,so just for the record we get hassled too.

  13. Khalid    

    Well, at least they didn’t nightstick you.

  14. G1toons    

    it just seems to be life, me and my room mate at the time (who is in a fraternity, he has a messed up knee so he has to walk with a walking stick, and i had not been in the country long) were waiting for one of his fraternity brothers outside of burger king near cal state Dominguez (which i was attending at the time), 3 cop cars pull up very aggressively and tell us to put our hands on the hood, they said that there had been a complaint that there was a gang with baseball bats making trouble.
    ok there are two of us one with a walking stick having a general conversation, we had no red or blue clothes on, they hassled the hell out of us with the trick questions and other crap but ive always been a clm person when it comes to ploice i find it easier to talk intelligenly to them and make them feel dunb then to shout or act like a N***
    the thing that really saved us i guess was my English accent, ha ha good ole england thats one of my nicer stories

  15. did you ever make it to the party? lol

  16. zeno    

    you know what les your are so right. cops always feel like theier bigger than people especialy niggas they feel like they could just walk up to you and ask you a bunch of crap and then throw a milion dollar ticket at you. my dad hates cops so bad and so dose most of my friends but i swear when i get into the animation busines im going to create an episode that totaly discrimn

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